Do I help my son with chores?
When I ask my son (7 years old) to do something, like pick up his room or put away his games, he always asks me to help him. I tell him no, that he is capable of doing it himself. He is somewhat lazy, and I am trying to foster a sense of independence and accomplishment. Should I help him, or am I doing the right thing? I do not want to foster his laziness.
YOU are doing the right thing you wont always be there to help him so he needs to learn how to do it himself!
God Luck,Best Wishes,And God Bless
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You could make a game out of chores: Whoever puts the most toys away gets… Whoever finishes first gets…
Of course, you would never win.
Lots of luck!
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Don't help him. He is tricking you into doing it for him. You can try small rewards for when he does it right and completes it. It might help
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well for being 7 he is well capable of doing it himself!Your doing the right thing I think1
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I'd say no, those chores he is capable of doing and wouldn't need help on. Those chores are his own messes he needs to clean up himself because he did it.
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Is he asking for "help" but just standing there? Or are you working together?
He might be lazy. He might be looking for attention, too.
Explain to him that you'll help him this time, but that next time he must complete the task on his own.
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1) when he asks you to help him is it becuase he knows you'll do most of the work?
2) work his reasoning skills. if he can give you a reasonable response, you should help him. it'll help his mental neural connections grow if he has to make corrolations between two things.
3) if he's only asking becuase he is lazy, offer him a trade. that way he realizes hes' not getting out of work, "i'll help you clean your room if you fold clothes with me first"
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Absolutely NOT! Make him do it by himself.
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My son who will be nine in June has been doing all kinds of chores since he was 3. And now he's a very clean very wonderful young man. Who also loves to help me cook by the way. It instills values and a sense of accomplishment just like you said. He just loves to help and knows that I ,,,,a single mother appreciate and love him very much. Always remember to reward him for his wonderful behavior and it will keep coming and coming and coming,,,,all without you having to tell him to do so. Good Luck.
I often tell my daughter to clean her room then I will go in and assist her. I find it gives us a chance to work together and talk, she is also 7. Fostering independance is great and chores do build good charater, but think about how a big mess looks to a 7 year old. It must sometimes feel impossible to ever tidy it up. I like to help her and have her help me with other chores like dish drying or folding the laundry. Spending positive time together is as equally improtant as doing chores. Now some things he can do on his own, but maybe he just wants to spend time with you.
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you can help but dont do it all. my son cleaned his room today ,he was happy it is so clean, its a good thing. i helped on/off and talked to him a little ,kept a watch out for his safety just by being around.
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you should help him a little bit just don't do everything 4 him, he is still a baby he don't need to do everything by himself. I understand you don't want him to be lazy but you don't want to over work him. You don't want him to be to independent trust me my son won't let me help him clean up because he thinks he can do it himself but he ends up making a bigger mess because sometimes he doesn't know what he is doing. So if he will let you help him go 4 it just don't do it 4 him.so I think u should help him if you feel up to it or want to.
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You are doing the right thing you have to let them grow on their own. And if you do his chores for him pretty soon he will be asking you to do his homework. Let him be independent and punish him if he disobeies you. It teaches him cause and effect.
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I have 3 big boys and I make out a choir list and I say to them you all are big enough to makes messes alone you are big enough to clean them up alone and it took some time but they all do their chores themselves. If they do not get right the first make them redo until they get it right they pick up fast when you tell them would you like to do my chores instead and if he says anything let him try all mine did.
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SHOW HIM ONCE HOW TO DO THINGS THEN AFTER THAT HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT HIMSELF MY 9 YR OLD DAUGHTER DOES THE SAME THING
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My sons learn to do pick up toys/clothes, etc. at 2 y/o. We start at 12 months just as a way of ending our play time, and by 2, they're doing it independently.
I do straighten their beds until they're about 5 y/o. By 6 yrs, they're doing pickup, bed-making, plus their own laundry, except for pouring the detergent and Chlorox II. They sort by colors, put in washer til done, then a softener sheet and wet clothes into dryer, then fold and even mate socks, and put everything away. I do hang the shirts on the closet rod. Also, setting/clearing the table at meals, dusting, taking out the trash to the garage, etc.
Way I see it - by 4-5 they can play Leapfrog, etc., and by 6, they play PS2, Runescape, etc., so why not chores.
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You're doing the right thing. Picking up after himself isn't really a chore though. It's something he should just have to do. Something like taking each person's laundry basket to the laundry room is a good chore for a 7 year old.
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I put my son in his room and close the door and ask him to tell me when he's finished cleaning.Sometimes I knock on the door and ask if he needs a vacuum or a dust cloth but I always knock so it makes him feel like he's responsible of his room-which he should be. Then he's seems so proud when he's ready to present or reveal his new improved bedroom. By the way, he's not allowed to come out until it is cleaned. hah
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You should not help him with his chores all of the time. For simple things, like picking up some toys, you do not need to help him. You could help him with cleaning the bathroom, when he wouldn’t know all of the steps. It is good that you are saying no to simple things. But think of it this way, if you say yes every time, he will never make it in the world.
First, be there to make sure he understands what you are asking him to do. At first, check his work carefully, so that he can correct any misunderstandings he might have. When you correct him the first time, and even the second, be gentle. Don’t let him think that you are angry, even if you are. Look for evidence that he knows what you expect. Then, let him do it on his own.