Articles on Children

Are Security Blankets Bad? Or, Are They Good?

Lonnie — Sat, 07 May 2011 15:46:59 +0000

Wikipedia defines security blanket as a “familiar object whose presence provides comfort or security to its owner”.

It’s important that your newborn baby feel secure in order to develop good sleeping habits. Parents help babies feel secure in many ways including keeping baby well fed, warm, clean, dry and comfortable. However, a security blanket offers baby the feeling of security during times when mommy can’t be there. It reminds baby of mommy and becomes an extension of her. A security blanket makes the transition from daytime to nighttime, awake time to naptime much easier. It calms fears and reduces stress and anxiety. It is truly “mommy’s helper”!

A SHIELD FROM FEARS. “The security object offers physical comfort and is very reassuring,” says Joeanne Gutzwiller, PhD, a child psychologist in private practice. “It’s essentially portable security when mom and dad can’t be there. Most children develop a dependency on an object in the first year of life, and dependency is usually highest by age 2 or 3. This is the age when fears, such as fear of the dark and fear of dogs, start to emerge. A security object can be quite reassuring to a child who feels afraid.”

Dr. Harvey Karp, in his book The Happiest Toddler on the Block, encourages parents to “give your toddler a chance to develop a ‘relationship’ with a satiny blanket. Keep one around him all day long and with him at night.” Dr. Karp encourages mothers to touch it a lot. The blanket will become more comforting as it takes on the scent of mommy. Dr. Karp goes on to talk about how these “calming toys are basically Mommy substitutes. They’re a step between you and your child’s first real friend.” Security blankets help toddlers deal with illness, parental absences, trips, new siblings, and new and frightening situations.

A STRESS REDUCER. Although we tend to believe that children live worry-free lives, that may not be true. Babies, especially as they begin to reach toddlerhood, can find the world rather intimidating. Their physical and mental skills are not fully developed. It is often hard for them to understand and deal with our adult world even when we try to bring everyday challenges down to their level. As a result, they deal with their fair share of stress. Hugging a special stuffed animal, rubbing a blanket across their cheek, and clinging to their favorite security object are healthy options for small children to reduce stress.

THE RESEARCH. Richard H. Passman, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee, set out to answer the questions: “Are attachments to security objects and mothers related? Do children securely and insecurely attached to mothers use security blankets differently?” His findings revealed that “Being attached to a security object can be beneficial to a child. Left in an unfamiliar playroom with a supportive agent (mother or transitional object), children played, explored, and refrained from crying more so than did children who had their favorite hard toy or who had no supportive agent available (Passman & Weisberg, 1975).” Therefore, a special soft cuddly object provides more comfort and security than a hard noncuddly toy. When a child is confronted with an unfamiliar or stressful situation, the child who is attached to a security blanket will fair better than a child with no attachment. Up to sixty percent of children in the United States have some sort of security blanket during childhood. Dr. Passman has found no negative or lasting effects. However, he has found many positive ones!

WEANING CHILDREN OFF. As your child gets older you may find it difficult to manage a security blanket. You may want to limit its use. You may tell your child that the blanket will stay at home except for special occasions. Or limit it for bedtime only. These ideas are preferable to getting rid of it all together. There are times that may require increased use such as the birth of a new sibling or moving to a new house. Be sensitive to these needs and allow your child to use it as long as necessary. Some daycare centers may discourage the use of security blankets for a variety of reasons including hygienic and social. You may consider talking to your providers if your child is likes to carrying it with him everywhere. Consider suggesting that your child be allowed to use it during naptime as a calming agent.

IN REVIEW. Experts agree that it is very important for children to have a security blanket or lovey. Children find comfort in them because they remind them of Mommy. Security blankets may calm your baby’s fears, anxiety, and stress.

About the Author

Lonnie Knell raised triplets and is the proud grandmother of two. She has a BA in Special Education from Northeastern Illinois University and a MS in Non-profit Administration from Roosevelt University.

Personalized Baby Gifts by Embroidery Master

RESOURCES

http://www.parentingtots.org/skills11.html

BNET Encyclopedia of Childhood and Adolescence byRichard H. Prass, Ph D. University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2602/is_0004/ai_2602000472/pg_3?tag=artBody;col1

Baby Zone – Loveys and Security Blankets: Understanding Transitional Objects by Beth M. Lovinelli, RN, BSN, IBCLC

http://www.babyzone.com/askanexpert/loveys-security-blankets

Psychology Today – Security Blankets by Fawn Fitter

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20050422-000008.html

Associated Content – Giving Children Security Blankets Encourages Good Sleeping Habits by Deborah Chavez http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/637113/giving_children_security_blankets_encourages.html?cat=44

BNET Pediatrics For Parents by Michael K. Meyerhoff

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0816/is_3_22/ai_n16033466

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Security Blankets, Should You Take It Away?

Lonnie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:19:59 +0000

Every parent has experienced it a one point during the ‘toddler’ years. You need to get that stinky, dirty old security blanket off your child but they just won’t let go of it. You have to resort to some cunning scheme to get the blanket away for an hour or two so that it can be given a good wash.

Is it really so strange having a near dependence on something that someone might think is a dish rag or is your child being irrational? I would say that it is not so unreasonable. If you look at many adults that rely on good luck charms or amulets, you can see that this trait is in all of us, no matter your age. Many a successful pro sportsman won’t take to the field without his lucky cap or he won’t wash his winning pair of socks until there is a reverse. Ugh!

So what is this need for a security object all about?

For young children it is the realization that they are independent from the primary object of their dependence since birth. In most cases this is their mother.
They begin to realize that their mother is a separate entity, which has her own needs, and does things that do not involve the child. This can be potentially traumatic for a young child. They can become frustrated that their mother’s attention isn’t focused on them or they could feel lonely because their mother is not close to them.

During this time, according to noted pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, the child focuses on a transitional object for comfort. This object could be a security blanket or a teddy bear. The object is cuddled during times of anxiety for the child. Night times are perfect examples of when the child may use the blanket for comfort.

Winnicott claims that the development of a security object is a natural development in the infants life. In fact, it is a first attempt at defining itself as an independent entity within the world. It is also one of the infants first attempts to develop a relationship with an external object. This is natural and normal behaviour for a young child. As the child grows this behaviour will develop and expand in complexity. The next phase that many parents will notice in their child is when the child asks for a pet. The child wants to give care as well as receiving it.

So should you be concerned about your child having a security blanket. Certainly not, they will grow out of the dependence in their own time.

On a more practical note, if your child does develop an attachment to a security object make sure you can get a duplicate item. When it comes to cleaning the item you can simply replace the item and wash at your leisure.

Adrian Whittle writes for http://blanketsnquilts.com Be sure to visit the site for more information on security blankets and gift ideas for baby blankets

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adrian_Whittle

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Faster Potty Training for Girls?

Lonnie — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 06:00:59 +0000

My daughter is 28 months. She’ll go to the potty, sit for a few minutes, and then she gets up and pees either in her training pants or on the floor. What can I do? She doesn’t like stickers or suckers.

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What’s Wrong with Independent Babies?

Lonnie — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 06:00:59 +0000

My baby has slept in her own bed ever since she was two weeks old. She started sleeping through the night when we moved her into her crib in her own room. During the day, she screamed when I put her into a carrier. She would rather lay and play than be held. I hear advice that if you don’t sleep with your baby and don’t pack them around all day that you are a bad mother. And, heaven forbid you let a baby cry for a couple of minutes. What is wrong with trying to nurture independent children? I’m an elementary school teacher. I see many children (ranging from 6 to 12) that can’t do anything on their own and I wonder if their mother ever tried to foster independence. I agree that young babies need to be responded to quickly when they cry. But, I know when she needs me fast and when she is just fussing. I’ll also agree that a baby that feels safe (from being responded too) will be more independent, but where do you draw the line? When do you stop sleeping with them and carrying them around all the time?

I do co-sleep with my son, but I don’t think that makes for a bad mom. I think it’s the parent’s decision to do what they believe is best for their family. Co-sleeping just works for us. As long as you are doing what works for your child and family, I say more power to you! During the day, my son plays on his playmat and in his play pen by himself (with me in the room watching, of course). Although, some people can be very judgemental, do what is right for your family!

Do I help my son with chores?

Lonnie — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:00:59 +0000

When I ask my son (7 years old) to do something, like pick up his room or put away his games, he always asks me to help him. I tell him no, that he is capable of doing it himself. He is somewhat lazy, and I am trying to foster a sense of independence and accomplishment. Should I help him, or am I doing the right thing? I do not want to foster his laziness.

Toddler gnawing window sill. Any suggestions?

Lonnie — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:00:59 +0000

My 14 month old daughter has a Montessori-style bedroom with a futon mattress on the floor, giving her access to her toys and the entire space of her room in order to foster independence. The room has been completely baby-proofed, but lately she has taken to gnawing the paint off of her window sills, which she can reach when standing up. Does anyone have any suggestions for preventing this? We are not interested in moving her to a crib.

Dealing with Other Parents

Lonnie — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:00:59 +0000

I like to let my kids discover things for themselves to foster confidence, independence and learning. I try to only step in when they are in danger, loud, will not share, or will hurt other kids. I find that other parents often annoy the hell outta me. They will let there kid push my child or break her toys. They do not disipline, but when the shoe is on the other foot…they are the first ones to say something. Example: my baby was hugging an kissing my friends son, I could tell it annoyed her, she wanted me to stop the behavior. My child is not even two, she was just showing affection why should I punish her? Diff. Example: a 2 yr old boy pushes my 13 month daughter down and she knocks her head on concrete she screams, the parents say nothing to me or there son I am scared about dealing with parents in the future. I don’t like confrontaion…and it seems kids are always doing something that could spark a fight between you and another parent. How do you deal? There are so many different parenting styles! How do we all get along? I want to tell the passive people to disipline there children….and I want to tell the uptight strict people to ease up a little bit. I guess I am more middle of the road when it comes to parenting, but it seems as though everyone is so one sided and close minded when it comes to there kids
YES!!! I really do hate them most of the time. Astoundingly, many of my friends have become TERRIBLE parents. One friend has a nervous breakdown at every get-together because her child a snotty “princess” who won’t share. Both our kids are learning to share but she takes it personally. Another friend talks negatively about her children IN FRONT OF THEM as if they are case studies. She calls them “this one” and “that one” rather than their names. Plus she has one very disturbed kid who she keeps yo-yo-ing on and off of ADD drugs and in and out of school. It breaks my heart. Oh and then there’s the friend who’s youngest has had a runny nose for 1 1/2 years and they no longer even try to wipe his nose, then the encourage him to kiss my daughter. I don’t think so! Oh and the entire “princess” thing pisses me off. My daughter is special, unique, etc. However I do not fill her heard with princess, diva, ruler of the universe ideas. That’s just programming your child to be a BRAT in my opinion.

Effects of Nursery Blankets on Kids

Lonnie — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:02:59 +0000

Nursery blankets mean the world to kids. As adults, we sometimes forget that the world that children is in is very different from ours. How is it different?

For one, kids need a lot of security. They are just beginning to learn about life on this planet we call Earth. And since there are still so many things they don’t know, or have yet to discover, the world can be a scary place to be in. Therefore, kids need to be comforted by people or objects that they are familiar with – like nursery blankets or pillows.

Also, in the world of a kid, anything is possible. A child has unlimited potential to imagine. The possibilities are endless. So security blankets are comforting to them because they sometimes have objects of imagination printed on them. Objects such as their favorite cartoon characters, characters from their favorite fairy tales, etc. These designs have a positive impact on the child – they provide comfort.

The adult world is the real world. Adults have to face up to reality, whether they like it or not. And not everything in the real world is a bed of roses. In fact, to many people, the real world is a harsh and cruel world. In other words, life is difficult. And if adults are experiencing that, what about kids? For sure, the world can be a huge and confusing place.

That’s why when kids go to bed, they always require reassurance – that everything is going to be alright. Some will ask their mothers to read to them, while others will not let their parents turn off the lights. They have such funny requests because they have feelings of insecurity.

Therefore, when buying a nursery blanket for a kid, don’t just think about providing a piece of cloth that keeps the child warm. That’s just providing physical comfort. More importantly, the nursery blanket should provide psychological comfort. In other words, it should provide a strong sense of security for the kid.

Once the kid becomes familiar with nursery blanket, the parent will have an easier time getting a child to go to bed. After a long day, it’s time to retract into the welcoming warmth of the nursery blanket and have a good night’s sleep.

The nursery blanket thus becomes a sanctuary for the kid. Have you observed that when a kid is frightened (for example, after reading a spooky story book), he or she will go hide under a nursery blanket? Why would a kid do that? A kid does that naturally because he or she thinks that the nursery blanket can offer protection.

So don’t take the issue of a nursery blanket too lightly. In a kid’s world, the nursery blanket is a big deal, even though adults tend to think otherwise. But pay attention to the needs of the kids. Kids provided with a stronger sense of security will grow up feeling more assured and confident.

About the Author

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